Tuesday 10 January 2017

Welcome to "Getting away with Worder", a sardonic and grumpy blog designed to expose the ways in which we misuse and murder our language.

Today I want to look at one of the  most annoying habits of all: the frequent and unjustifiable use of the word "enjoy," especially at restaurants, whether fast or slow food.

Maybe you've been at some middle-of-the-road eating establishment and been told by a waiter or waitress, as she leaves the food at your table, "Enjoy"!

What's wrong with that?

Everything!

It is an example of what I call the "cocky and lazy imperative."



It's cocky because there is a smug assumption behind this word that the food is first class and that there is no chance of it being anything other than enjoyable. That may be warranted when the restaurant in question is five star and Michelin-rated but it's not when you're eating in a food hall at a shopping mall, or at a restaurant chain like The Harvester. What the server should really be saying is this: "I hope you enjoy it."

That brings me to my second gripe. It's fast food linguistics. Instead of giving the full and justified wish, "I hope you enjoy your meal," the person has chosen to abbreviate the sentiment into a single word. This ends up sounding arrogant which is incidentally why I've never heard it used in an Indian restaurant where humility is far more in evidence than it is in most other venues. If you are a waiter or waitress,  don't be cocky. And don't be lazy.

Finally, don't use the imperative mood. When you leave my table with the one word "enjoy", you are issuing a command. That means you are giving me an order. Do you know why I hate that? It's not just that you're murdering the language. It's that you're engineering a role reversal. You're turning the social convention upside down. Instead of you taking my order, I'm now taking your order - which is one of many reasons I rarely eat out in the UK.

Here is a perfect example of people getting away with worder. Instead of using the subjunctive mood ("I hope that you enjoy it"), people have resorted to a cocky and lazy imperative. "Enjoy!"

Don't tell me to enjoy whatever it is you're serving me.

Let me be the judge of whether it brings joy or not.

It's time to stop this resaurantspeak from infiltrating our conversations.

When we hear it, let's treat the place like a crime scene and arrest the worderer.


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